… for one of those days when you feel like today is the day you are stuck pushing the bicycle uphill…
Let’s talk about feeling displaced today… that feeling of not belonging, or of not fitting in, or of just not “being you” at your best … because you know what? This feeling can show up at any time – it happens to everybody. Really.
It’s those moments when we feel like we’re “in the wrong place, I shouldn’t be here” or we just “did something stupid – everybody is going to notice my mistake” or even the hard core version: “nobody values me / nobody cares” type of thinking or self talk that can go on in our minds.
I’m not going to go into the dynamics of what this means in terms of self-esteem, self-confidence, feelings of self-worth and so forth … rather, I’d like to give you a quick self-help tool that you can use to pull yourself out of this kind of negative self-talk – like real fast!
Here’s how you do it:
Write down 5 to 10 things that you fear someone will find out about you – what are you afraid of? i.e. That you’re not good enough? That you’re not smart enough? That you’re too old, too young, too bald, too blond, too shy, too uppity?
What are 5 to 10 things that you are afraid of sharing about yourself? Write them down, every single one – but at least capture 5 – bring those monsters out in to the light.
<See? That wasn’t so hard! And now that it is done, you’ve put it out in the open, you have, figuratively speaking, shown the flashlight under the bed and the monster wasn’t there anymore. Good for you!>
Now write down 5 to 10 things that people have said about you that shows you had some kind of impact on them or their lives. i.e. Even it is your favorite fan (your mother) or somebody who would not dare say anything bad about your (your partner) – capture as many as you can, but write it down:
i.e.: Colleague at work: That was the best meeting I’ve been in for the longest time! Thanks for organizing it this time! (Could you do this at every meeting, then we wouldn’t waste so much time)?
Best friend: I will only go there if you go with me. I couldn’t stand to be there without you!
Online friend: You really shine!
Boss: “I noticed all the good stuff you’re doing lately …”
At a pitch: “I wish I could afford you – what you’re doing looks so good” (and they didn’t even know what the price would be, because they didn’t ask for it!)
Whatever it is for you – write it down. Better yet: start keeping those little quotes and notes in your notebook or capture them in your calendar. This is your “I need to pick myself back up” process.
I’d love to hear how you used this for yourself … please do share your story here!