From the inside out – or from the outside in?

Are you feeling challenged in a relationship? You feel like “it” isn’t working for you, or you wonder what’s going on with someone because you can’t seem to “reach” them? In those times when you are expecting something of (or from) someone else, and it isn’t coming, then we ourselves can feel displaced, misunderstood, maybe even wrongly judged.

Here is a way you can help yourself out, by remembering it all starts with “me”. I know, this sounds like a Facebook meme (and it is one, I’ve seen it pop up often enough myself) nevertheless, it really is the key to unlock those moments of relationship confusion. (The next time this meme shows up in your Facebook feed, you might want to hold back for a minute before you pass it over and just for a moment, recall this post.)
Especially at times when you’re feeling frustrated, dejected, like you’ve lost – or are losing, lines of communication with others in your life, start by listening to yourself. You want to find clarity within yourself first, before asking of clarity from someone else.

So, in case you’re not sure how to go about this, I urge you to read on.

Ask yourself: what do I value about me? What do I like about me? Who am I when I’m being my best me? What am I doing when I like myself the most?
If that doesn’t get you centered, then go to these questions:

Where in my life, am I nurturing myself? Am I paying attention to my own needs? Is my own cup full (of compassion) for myself so I am able to pour (some compassion) out upon others?
Am I listening to myself? What is my body telling me? Not only my mind, but my heart, my gut? Do I get tied up in knots just trying to listen to myself? (If that’s the case, then for god’s sake, take a deep breath, and another one, and yet another one – you do want to slow down first!)

Relationships will be strong, loving and nurturing when we first expand our awareness to find the peace, forgiveness and love that is inside of us.

Relationships start from the inside-out, and don’t come from the outside-in.

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